"I stopped reading my Bible regularly because I just wasn't feeling as close to God as I used to." "Nah, we haven't been on a date in a while. The last time we did, we got in an argument."
"I don't know where he'd been. We used to hang out a lot, but then it just trailed off for some reason."
We have romanticized our relationships way, way too much. We've made them center on feelings over commitments — emotions over reality. Here's the simple fact: If you want a great relationship with God, with your wife, or with your friends, regulate it.
I don't mean make a bunch of rules for it. I mean that you must make it regular — scheduled, written, and active. We must learn to detach commitment to a relationship from the floating non-foundations of our feelings — doing something with someone only when it feels right.
Want to hear God? Get up every morning, read your Bible, and pray. Do that most days for a year. Feelings will follow.
Want to have a great marriage. Get up every day, thank God for her. Make her coffee, without the snark, and serve her.
Want a great friendship? Commit to walk out life with someone else. Use a calendar. Make it happen.
This is the romance of regularity.